Back at it ...

It's been some time since I posted on my blog due to having some time out from university but I am preparing to return and finally finish my first year of mental health nursing. When I first started I never thought I'd be one of the people that did't stay within the cohort. I thought I would be there for the long run. In a way I am, I am going to qualify as a mental health nurse just a little later than I had planned and a little later than those in my original cohort. I can't explain how excited I am to get back into things, I've missed placement so much. I'll be going straight back into placement for four weeks. I'll also have two assignments to get to grips with and resubmit but I have every faith in myself and I am going to plod on.

In all the time I've been away from university I've been working full time but I have tried to keep myself up to date with what's going on in the world of nursing. And one issue that I have been following is that of student bursaries. Before I go on I'd just like to put it out there that had there not been a bursary available when I applied for my nursing course, I never would have done it. This is because I simply would not have been able to afford to support myself. Similarly, if the axing of the bursary affected me as a continuing student, I would probably have to leave the course. I feel very fortunate to know that the bursary will be there to support me throughout the rest of my training, but I can't help but feel sorry for all those who wish to enter the nursing profession but will be prevented from doing so by lack of funding. I really do believe that getting rid of the bursary will cause applicant numbers to fall dramatically. Yes, there is a proposal that the bursary will be replaced with a system of loans, but for some people the amount of debt that they will be left with might not be worth coming into nurse training. 

There has been much talk of the need for a living wage, which although I know this would never be in place in time to apply to me if it did happen, I wholeheartedly support. Nurse training is a full time job in itself, not to mention the extra time we spend on completing assignments and on mandatory training from university among other things. We are not asking for student nurses to be paid the same amount as qualified nurses, but surely being paid proportionately to the amount of time we spend on placement working just as hard as those around us would be more appropriate. Not only that, it would show us that as student nurses we are appreciated and valued. A feeling which is very hard to come by at some points during your training. I'm sure all student nurses out there can relate to  that. 

In the grand scheme of things, whatever the Conservatives have planned for student nurses and the nursing profession as a whole, including the NHS is out of our control. We will just have to wait and see and accept whatever it is that they throw at us. And what will we do? We will push on, like we always do, we will strive to make it work. Because that's what we do, we nurse, we care, we push on and make the best of what we have. 

The Storm After The Calm?

I don't know why, but I've always been really laid back when it comes to exams. I leave revision until no earlier than the fortnight or sometimes the week before the exam, simply because I work better that way, if I attempt revision before then it will be of no use to me in the exam. One strange thing though, about my exam behavior is that I never get nervous beforehand. 

I've seen it time and time again, myself and my cohort or class waiting outside the examination hall, everyone with their heads in their notes and chatting anxiously about what the questions may be, panicking that they may have missed something in their revision. And then there's me. Literally, as calm as can be. It's not even as though I panic when I sit down in front of the paper, or while I'm writing, or when I leave. When I get home however, a completely different story ensues. This is the time that I worry, I turn the exam paper and the answers I wrote over again and again in my head. It's torture. Honestly, I realise that I am very lucky not to panic and become stressed before or during an exam, it really helps me to concentrate on answering the questions, but sometimes it really is a curse as well as a blessing. 

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me? I've never met anyone else who openly admits that they feel calm during an exam. I know the likelihood is that there is someone out there who experiences something similar, but I am yet to find them. I'm extremely thankful for being able to be this way. Hopefully it will help me through my time as a student. I must say however, like everyone else, I do not like exams. I think the idea of telling someone that they have X amount of time to answer questions and they must do so in exam conditions (which - although people may disagree - is not conducive to passing an exam, I don't know anyone who feels comfortable in an exam hall) throws people off. I know it has done for me in the past. I understand that the exam conditions are in place to prevent cheating etc, but the time limit is what really gets me. I know  that we couldn't have all the time in the world. But why not just say, answer the questions and when you're finished, hand your paper in and leave? Surely this would improve pass rates? Maybe it's just me, maybe people agree with me. It's just a thought. One that I know will never be the done thing. But a thought none the less. 

So here I am, post exam - the stress of worrying about last weeks exam is just about wearing off. Nobody likes waiting for things, and waiting for results can seem like a life time. I'm not entirely sure what the outcome may be, I'm not too confident. I faired better in one question than I did in the other, but we will see. 

Wish me luck! 

I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

Right now I feel like my whole life is consumed by revision, assignment writing, portfolio work, personal development planning and placement, but if I'm really honest I wouldn't have it any other way. I may sometimes be a little peeved that I have to be diplomatic with my free time and turn down offers of plans here and there, but I know that what I'm doing is contributing to the rest of my life. So I love it!

I'm currently writing my second assignment, revising for my third - and biggest - exam and awaiting my results from my first nursing assignment. Of course I'm not wholly confident, who ever is with this kind of thing? But what I do have is faith in myself, that even if I don't pass this time, I can pass on re-submission. I hope it doesn't come to that as it would be disheartening for that to happen in my first assignment but it might. That's just a fact. Wish me luck! I'm loving the feeling that I am doing something with my life. I couldn't do nothing with my life. I'm not in any way saying that those who don't pursue a particular career or go to university have nothing, but that just isn't right for me.

Slowly but surely I'm realising that my organisation skills leave a lot to be desired, they arent the worst they could be but they certainly aren't the best. I'm trying. I have this idea that when an exam comes up I'll create a time table of revision time and free time and stick to it very strictly. But for any exam I've ever sat that has always been my plan and it has never materialised. I think it's time to force myself to be organised, nobody is going to do it for me.

The Deep End ...

Today marks the beginning of my second week in my first ever nursing placement and I am absolutely loving it. The nature of the placement means there is a lot of sitting around and observing, and not a whole host of chances to get 'hand's on' in its traditional sense but despite this, I am really enjoying myself. I've learned so much already and can't wait to learn a lot more! I think I've gotten really lucky in that although an experienced mentor would have a lot to offer too, I am my mentors first student. At first I thought this wouldn't be such a good thing, but now I think the exact opposite. My mentor seems much more keen on being involved with my learning and development than some of the other mentors I have heard about, although I am not saying that they are in any way less competent than my own.

Everyone at my placement is so welcoming, I expected them to be, but not quite as lovely and encouraging as they are. I've been speaking to a 3rd year student doing her management placement there and she definitely helped put my mind at rest and ease my nerves. It really is amazing to think that in two and a half years I'll be exactly where she is, months away from qualifying. I know to some people that may seem silly to look so far forward, but if the time flies any where near as quickly as my first six months has as a student nurse then it'll be no time before I'm in that cap and gown as a fully qualified mental health nurse.

Here's to the future, it's bright, and it's fast approaching ...

5 months in!

I know I've left it waaaay longer than I promised, but everything has been so full on that I've only just got to grips with it. I am absolutely loving being a student nurse. Even though I'm part way through a 4,000 word assignment and revising for two exams. I am definitely exactly where I want to be. I'll be coming back more often and updating everyone now that I've found my feet!

I've been given my first placement which starts next month and it's a community access team placement. I'm really looking forward to my first experience out in practice putting everything I've learned over the past few months to work. I feel so lucky because my placement is right near where I live and it's my hub placement - the one I go back to at the end of my 3 years in uni - so I've been really fortunate there.

I've met so many amazing people at university already some of which I hope are friends for life, having people round you that you get along with really does help in more ways than you would imagine. Time is flying, and I'm beginning to understand what the lecturers meant at the beginning when they told us that we would stop one day and look back and think, wow, time really does fly. It does, and I know I keep saying it but I am absolutely loving every second. I may moan about my assignment and revision, but I honestly enjoy it really. I feel like I've finally found the thing I want to be doing in my life, yes I don't always want to be bogged down with assignments and revision but I'm talking about the career I'm going into. It's definitely for me, a fact I hope won't change over the next 3 years!

I've seriously neglected reading everyone's blog posts too so that's what I'm going to do now while I have a bit of spare time, catch up with what has been going on. I really will be back soon ... I mean it this time!

Finally .. It Begins!

Today marked the beginning of my nursing career. I took the first steps into the profession in which I aim to spend the rest of my working life. I must admit, I am on somewhat of an information overload right now but so far so good. There are so many faces, so many places and so many new things to remember. I'm sure I will get to grips with it with some ease over the next couple of weeks! Hopefully ...

Right now I'm really looking forward to getting stuck in and getting started properly. All the talk of placement and other things is getting me very excited and eager!

I'm off to get an early night now, ready for tomorrow - my second day! That is of course once I've watched the episode of corrie everyone's been dreading ... Hayley's goodbye.


I'll be back soon with updates!!

Lonesome This Christmas ...

While reading Volume 28 (December 18th) of nursing standard. I came accross the feature with the subtitle "What should health and wellbeing boards do to tackle loneliness among older people?" and I read some of the responses & have been thinking about this issue a lot since then. But while at work today I found myself in a conversation I never expected to be in, and it brought to light some issues similar to this that may fall by the wayside when it comes to developing initiatives to tackle loneliness. I was speaking to a man, whom I would say was just below the threshold to be regarded as middle-aged and he wished me Merry Christmas and I wished him the same. But what shocked me is that he then replied with "Well I'll try but it's not much fun on your own" and his eyes started to well with tears, not to the point of crying, but to the extent that I could see he was upset. I thought I would try and cheer him up so I asked what he was going to have for his dinner on Christmas Day. And he described his dinner to me, all in portions for one and all the while his eyes still shimmered from the light catching the tears in them. I went on to say that I'm sure he can find something enjoyable to busy himself with on Christmas day, by perhaps treating himself to a couple of presents - no need to wrap them unless he wishes to - to himself, from himself. He then smiled a wholly honest smile and told me he was going to do just that. I can't deny that I felt a huge pang in both my stomach and my heart when he smiled at me. I felt like I had done something good. Even if he smiled a million more times that day, I'm glad I got to be the reason for one of them.

On a more serious note however, in a time where we are conerned with th health and well being of the elderly in our society, and how they can fall victim to chronic loneliness especially at this time of year, should we not also spare some thought and consideration for those from all age groups and walks of life who also live lonely lives. Which are no doubt made to feel all the more loney at Christmas time. I am not saying we should each invite a stranger to join in withour Christmases but what I am saying is that should we not be making provisions to combat loneliness for everyone and not just the elderly?

It's just a thought really which struck me today when I spoke to this gentleman. I would love to hear  what everyone else thinks on this issue.

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