The Storm After The Calm?

I don't know why, but I've always been really laid back when it comes to exams. I leave revision until no earlier than the fortnight or sometimes the week before the exam, simply because I work better that way, if I attempt revision before then it will be of no use to me in the exam. One strange thing though, about my exam behavior is that I never get nervous beforehand. 

I've seen it time and time again, myself and my cohort or class waiting outside the examination hall, everyone with their heads in their notes and chatting anxiously about what the questions may be, panicking that they may have missed something in their revision. And then there's me. Literally, as calm as can be. It's not even as though I panic when I sit down in front of the paper, or while I'm writing, or when I leave. When I get home however, a completely different story ensues. This is the time that I worry, I turn the exam paper and the answers I wrote over again and again in my head. It's torture. Honestly, I realise that I am very lucky not to panic and become stressed before or during an exam, it really helps me to concentrate on answering the questions, but sometimes it really is a curse as well as a blessing. 

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me? I've never met anyone else who openly admits that they feel calm during an exam. I know the likelihood is that there is someone out there who experiences something similar, but I am yet to find them. I'm extremely thankful for being able to be this way. Hopefully it will help me through my time as a student. I must say however, like everyone else, I do not like exams. I think the idea of telling someone that they have X amount of time to answer questions and they must do so in exam conditions (which - although people may disagree - is not conducive to passing an exam, I don't know anyone who feels comfortable in an exam hall) throws people off. I know it has done for me in the past. I understand that the exam conditions are in place to prevent cheating etc, but the time limit is what really gets me. I know  that we couldn't have all the time in the world. But why not just say, answer the questions and when you're finished, hand your paper in and leave? Surely this would improve pass rates? Maybe it's just me, maybe people agree with me. It's just a thought. One that I know will never be the done thing. But a thought none the less. 

So here I am, post exam - the stress of worrying about last weeks exam is just about wearing off. Nobody likes waiting for things, and waiting for results can seem like a life time. I'm not entirely sure what the outcome may be, I'm not too confident. I faired better in one question than I did in the other, but we will see. 

Wish me luck! 

Lonesome This Christmas ...

While reading Volume 28 (December 18th) of nursing standard. I came accross the feature with the subtitle "What should health and wellbeing boards do to tackle loneliness among older people?" and I read some of the responses & have been thinking about this issue a lot since then. But while at work today I found myself in a conversation I never expected to be in, and it brought to light some issues similar to this that may fall by the wayside when it comes to developing initiatives to tackle loneliness. I was speaking to a man, whom I would say was just below the threshold to be regarded as middle-aged and he wished me Merry Christmas and I wished him the same. But what shocked me is that he then replied with "Well I'll try but it's not much fun on your own" and his eyes started to well with tears, not to the point of crying, but to the extent that I could see he was upset. I thought I would try and cheer him up so I asked what he was going to have for his dinner on Christmas Day. And he described his dinner to me, all in portions for one and all the while his eyes still shimmered from the light catching the tears in them. I went on to say that I'm sure he can find something enjoyable to busy himself with on Christmas day, by perhaps treating himself to a couple of presents - no need to wrap them unless he wishes to - to himself, from himself. He then smiled a wholly honest smile and told me he was going to do just that. I can't deny that I felt a huge pang in both my stomach and my heart when he smiled at me. I felt like I had done something good. Even if he smiled a million more times that day, I'm glad I got to be the reason for one of them.

On a more serious note however, in a time where we are conerned with th health and well being of the elderly in our society, and how they can fall victim to chronic loneliness especially at this time of year, should we not also spare some thought and consideration for those from all age groups and walks of life who also live lonely lives. Which are no doubt made to feel all the more loney at Christmas time. I am not saying we should each invite a stranger to join in withour Christmases but what I am saying is that should we not be making provisions to combat loneliness for everyone and not just the elderly?

It's just a thought really which struck me today when I spoke to this gentleman. I would love to hear  what everyone else thinks on this issue.

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